The Petting Zoo
by plug in baby57
Summary: Sam has a job in a petting zoo and she wants Carly and Freddie to meet her at the end of her shift.


Freddie was sort of devastated when Sam got the job at the petting zoo. Firstly, Sam was now wealthier than him and secondly, she'd had her hair cut so the goats would stop trying to eat it. That was the true casualty of Sam's new job. That's not to say he was one of the iCarly messageboard types that thought her hair had magical powers but there was definitely something about the curls cascading about her shoulders that made him want to smell it, then grab handfuls of it and vigorously rub it against a certain body part of his, in a way that any non-hair fetishist would find disturbing. He pondered the thought for a moment before realising that out of all the public places, a petting zoo full of young children was the worst place to be uncontrollably aroused. Instead he turned to Carly as both of them leaned on the fence, watching as Sam undertook the last and worst of her duties for her shift. It was something she had described as "shovelling shit". It was an accurate description.

"I can't believe Sam's actually managed to keep this job." He said. There was an element of surprise in the fact that over the last two months Sam hadn't either shouted at her manager or been caught with her hand in the till. Although, he supposed, she was unlikely to be stealing animal excrement unless she had taken up gardening but it was surely a miracle that all the piglets were still accounted for.

"I can't believe you actually took the job in Build-A-Bra." Carly replied. He hadn't started yet, in fact he'd only got the job the day before and only his mother and Carly knew. He needed the money, okay? According to his mother, he was old enough to be buying his own tech equipment and the only company hiring in all of Seattle was Build-A-Bra. "I think you should reconsider it." She told him.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because even Gibby will bully you. All the work puberty has done over the past few years in making you not a punch-magnet will be wasted." Carly said. Freddie thought that was a bit harsh considering Carly's usual character but he noticed something was off in her voice. It took him a moment to pinpoint it.

"Wait a minute," he said, "you want me to quit so you can take the job, don't you?"

She hesitated. "Um, no."

"You do," He accused.

"No, I don't."

"You do, I can tell."

"Fine," she cracked. "Yes, I want that job." She conceded the point, by this point neither of them had realised that Sam had finished her shift and was heading to the locker room to change into her casual clothes. "But that doesn't mean you won't be bullied."

"But I'll have money."

"But you'll be bullied. More than usual."

"But I'll have money." Freddie repeated, before adding, "and a job that gives me a reason to look at boobs."

"You know," Carly began, "I think puberty turned you into a bit of a...?" She paused, either unable to think of an insult, or unable to be rude enough to say it. Luckily Sam had finished changing and popped up nearby as if by magic, ready to lambast Freddie at any point in time.

"Douchebag?" She suggested. Carly told her off and Freddie insulted her back, or at least that's what would have happened if they had the time. Instead she was quickly dragging them toward the pigsty. Freddie tried to ask what was going on, but it come out as more of a squeak than anything. Still Sam answered the question, as if the author was getting bored of writing and wanted to finish things as quickly as possible. "The manager's been trying to get rid of one of the pigs but no one wants it, so he's giving it to me for twenty bucks."

"You're going to keep a pet pig?" Carly asked, although Freddie was smart enough to know what Sam would reply.

"No, I'm going to eat it."

**--A/N--**

**So I done wrote this for a challenge over at 5_4_3_2 about jobs or something. It's an idea I first had ages ago and I'll be honest, I don't think this is all that good. God knows what the fuck I did to Carly's character but it sure ain't right and the ending was very rushed. This is the original version, the challenge has a word limit so this was edited down pretty badly. And this still wasn't right. It's not ended properly and the middle is just wrong on all counts. It's good until "I think you should reconsider it". Maybe I should rewrite it? Hmm. Well I'll get on it in about never. So enjoy it as it stands. Or don't. And if you want to see a longer rewritten version I suggest you do that yourself. But I don't see why you would want it. Hammertime.  
**


End file.
